Monday, February 23, 2009

One sad mommy


Well, I was wrong in thinking that I no longer needed my Zoloft the doc prescribed me when Scout was born for post partum depression. I weaned myself off of it about a month ago and until tonight, I thought I was handling it very well and that it was all okay....not so much! In fact, I am shocked at how quickly it came on and with the amount of vengeance!It was actually quite scary to say the least. I noticed myself being a little weepy today, but that could easily just be me; I'm emotional.But Scout has had a virus this whole week and I was becoming a little ragged. He has been very whiny and clingy today so I got next to nothing done around the house.Not to mention I woke up with a horrible headache,too. So this day promised to be pretty bad from the beginning! But it wasn't until about the time Jason got home WITH A HORRIBLE HEAD COLD that I just lost it. I was trying to do too many things at once and Scout was refusing to eat and I just broke down!! And it was like the flood gates opened and I couldn't shut it off! Jason was scheduled to do his sleep testing (for sleep apnea)tonight but he rescheduled it because he was sick. He was no help because the last thing I needed was TWO sick babies in my house, so he was asleep by 8pm.Which left me to battle the worst feeling a woman can endure all by myself AND take care of the baby,too.Needless to say, I am back on the Zoloft! The only thing I don't like is how long it seems to take to get into your system. I don't know if its all in my head, but I think it has already started working.(Thank you Jesus)Next to the epidural, Zoloft is the worlds best invention! I remember I used to think people were "over medicated" and "senselessly anesthetized to their own emotions" with the whole medication thing. HA! Boy was I wrong! When Scout was born, I was so bad if you had told me that the only way I would feel better would be to chop my pinkies off ...I would have done it myself!! Its the worst feeling I have ever experienced and I never want to feel this way again so I believe I will be giving it the "one year plan" after all! Hopefully we're on the upswing of things now.


On a lighter note, even though he is still kinda whiny, I believe Scout has pretty much whipped this virus thing! Good thing because mommy can't afford another day of NOT going to daycare(still have to pay if ya dont go!)Geesh! Poor guy, even though he was obviously sick he rarely frowned the whole time. We had quite a weekend with it too! We had 2 public blowouts: one in Walmart that required a bath in the sink in the bathroom and the purchase of new onesies and the other was a couple of hours later at La Altena when he projectile vomited all over me, the booth and the floor almost immediately after our food arrived! Oh! And did I mention that this happened because our babysitter bailed last minute on us so we took him to eat with us! LOVELY! I am really hoping this week gets better!:)

2 comments:

Kristen said...

uuggh. girl i feel your pain! just know that you are not alone.
and it is always so hard when you are at the end of your rope and then your hubby is not able to come to the rescue like you were wishing for!!!!
and oh my---your walmart blow-out and restaurant horror sound like a blast! i hope that he is better and you get to feeling better also.

Dianne Bryden said...

I love the music on your site! I just want to keep it pulled up while I work.
Your blowout at the Walmart and dinner bring back such memories with Ellie. Fisher has been a lot nicer to me that she was :-) At least you were in the store with everything when it happened!!!
And, remember, you're not alone!!!! I'm so thankful that little Scout is feeling better! He's such a cutie. Hope your other man is feeling better soon, as well.
BRING ON SPRING!!!!